The Old City Model is done during my stay in the medieval European city of Orleans/France this summer, it should be similar to many other medieval cities around the world. You can buy the multi-part model from here. This multi-part model has got interior gears, motor and battery mounts to build a living city with spinning carousel, flowing traffic of cars and boats, even flying choppers, baloons or blimps. Or you can continue reading the funny article to the end to download a free stationary version.
“Medieval Madness: Life in European Cities That Made You Say, ‘I’d Rather Be a Peasant!’ “
Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, medieval European cities were bustling hubs of activity. If you think about it, they were like the theme parks of the Middle Ages, except without the roller coasters and cotton candy. Instead, they offered cobblestone streets, quaint architecture, and the delightful aroma of horse manure wafting through the air. Ah, the good old days!
Let’s take a humorous journey back in time to explore the quirks and quarks of these medieval metropolises.
First off, sanitation was a bit of a problem. Forget about modern plumbing; people tossed their waste into the streets below. Walking through town was like navigating a giant, communal litter box. Imagine trying to haggle for a baguette while dodging flying chicken feathers and the occasional chamber pot. It’s enough to make you appreciate your squeaky-clean supermarkets today.
Medieval cities also had an interesting take on urban planning. They were like a maze designed by a cat with a vendetta against GPS. Streets twisted and turned at bizarre angles, and every corner seemed to lead you either to a tavern or a dead end. Navigating these labyrinthine pathways required a sense of adventure and an unyielding faith in the divine because getting lost was a daily routine.
Speaking of taverns, they were the medieval equivalent of a 24/7 nightclub. Imagine walking into a dimly lit room filled with rowdy patrons, clinking tankards, and bawdy songs about the latest dragon-slaying exploits. The bartender, who doubled as a part-time alchemist, would offer you a mysterious brew that had a 50/50 chance of curing your ailments or turning you into a toad.
Medieval cities also had their own unique brand of entertainment. Forget Netflix and chill; these folks had public executions and bear-baiting as their prime forms of amusement. People would gather in the town square to watch someone get dunked in a pond for the crime of having an unibrow, all while munching on stale bread.
Now, let’s talk fashion. Medieval European cities were like a Renaissance Faire on steroids. If you weren’t wearing a codpiece that could double as a weapon, you were considered a fashion outcast. Women donned elaborate gowns that required a small army to help them get dressed, and men wore tights so tight that breathing was an optional extra.
Despite the chaos and questionable fashion choices, there was something strangely charming about medieval European cities. They were the heart and soul of a bygone era, filled with characters straight out of a Monty Python sketch. In those days, you didn’t need social media for entertainment; you just had to step outside your door and witness the madness firsthand.
So, next time you find yourself stuck in traffic or complaining about a Wi-Fi outage, just remember the good old days of medieval European cities. Life may have been a tad more challenging back then, but it sure gave you some stories to tell at the local tavern – as long as you didn’t get turned into a toad first!
You can buy the multi-part model from here. This multi-part model has got interior gears, motor and battery mounts to build a living city with spinning carousel, flowing traffic of cars and boats, even flying choppers, baloons or blimps. Or you can dowload a single piece stationary model below.
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